The Ultimate Legacy of Service: Honoring America’s Gold Star Children from the Vietnam War
Sons and Daughters In Touch (SDIT)—America’s Gold Star Children from the Vietnam War—was born out of a profound quest for answers and connection. Founded in 1989 by Gold Star son Tony Cordero, whose father, Maj. William E. Cordero, an Air Force navigator, was killed in action on June 22, 1965 when his B-57 Canaberra disappeared during a night bombing mission over the Vietnam-Laos border when Tony was just five years old.
In his twenties, Tony’s search led him to Navy Gold Star wife Wanda Ruffin, who introduced him to her daughter, Wende Ruffin. Born three months after her father, Navy LCDR James T. Ruffin, was shot down over North Vietnam, Wende understood this journey firsthand. Missing for 17 years before being accounted for in 1983 and laid to rest with military honors at Arlington National Cemetery, her father’s absence also left questions, longing, and a quiet void. Wende intimately knew the silence, stigma, and heavy isolation of growing up in the shadow of the Vietnam War. Her bond with Tony was instant and lifelong.
Today, SDIT, a national volunteer-led nonprofit, continues to create those bonds of understanding, friendship, and community as they connect and serve Gold Star children and families. Together, they are paving a hopeful path for past, present, and future Gold Star children, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the VSO/MSO community to ensure no generation walks alone.
Their stories span every stage of youth: some were not yet born when their fathers were killed, while others held vivid teenage memories. Some answered the call to serve in Vietnam alongside their fathers or followed in their footsteps of military service—passing down a proud heritage of duty, honor, and country to their children and grandchildren who serve today. Their fathers hailed from every state and territory, serving across all military branches, ranks, and battles of the Vietnam War. They earned our nation’s highest commendations for valor and are forever remembered together on the black granite panels of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial.
During Gold Star Families Remembrance Week, our nation unites to honor the extraordinary sacrifices of Gold Star families—the parents, spouses, siblings, and children of military service members who lost their lives when deployed into harm's way, on peacekeeping missions abroad, or in acts of terrorism. Today, AWP proudly stands with Sons and Daughters In Touch (SDIT) to elevate the resilience, strength, and unwavering purpose of the now-grown children of our nation’s fallen Vietnam veterans. Though their fathers never returned, these patriotic Gold Star sons and daughters continue their legacy of service, transforming personal heartache into inspiring impact for our nation's military, veterans, and their families.
SDIT provides vital outreach, education, and healing connections through its core In Touch and Honor in Action programs:
In Touch: Connects sons and daughters of those killed or missing in the Vietnam War, focusing on peer support, mental health resources, workshops, and fostering resilience through shared opportunities to honor and serve.
Honor in Action: Empowers SDIT members to serve as living legacies—educating, advocating, and mentoring to support fellow Gold Star families and veterans. Key Honor in Action initiatives include NFL Salute to Service activities, Father’s Day rose tributes at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, and Memorial Day and Veterans Day commemorations—enduring pillars of remembrance, healing, and friendship.
Intergenerational Trauma and the Need for SDIT’s In Touch program
For many Gold Star children of the Vietnam era, grief was magnified by isolation and the contentious backdrop of the war. Young widows were thrust into sudden heartbreak without resources, navigating unimaginable hardships while raising families. Many children were forced to grow up overnight, stepping into adult roles as "the man of the house" or primary caretaker for siblings—exchanging the lightness of youth for the heavy weight of trauma and loss.
While the nation historically recognized Gold Star mothers and wives, SDIT emerged as America’s first organization dedicated specifically to uniting and empowering Gold Star children. Established to locate and embrace the estimated 20,000 children who lost fathers in the Vietnam War, SDIT delivers peer mentorship, mental health support, POW/MIA advocacy, and veteran engagement—all driven by a commitment to honor fallen heroes and carry on their legacy.
While recent conflicts remain in the public eye, a critical truth defines SDIT’s mission: 92% of America’s Gold Star families trace their loss to earlier eras, including WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, and the Gulf War. Decades later, adult Gold Star sons and daughters demonstrate that while grief has no expiration date, it can become a powerful catalyst for service, community resilience and hope.
Honor in Action
For nearly four decades, SDIT members have served as active stewards of their fathers' legacies. Refusing to let tragedy define them, these Gold Star children champion initiatives that uplift veterans and strengthen communities nationwide. Their guiding motto is clear and unyielding: Healing Together. Honoring Always. Serving Others.
Connect with SDIT if you are a Gold Star child from the Vietnam era or you served in Vietnam with a fallen or missing service member. We want to hear from you!
Connect with AWP if you are a veteran, survivor, family member or caregiver needing support.
